Shared Journeys – The Benefit of Practitioner’s Lived Experience

Lived Experience Makes a Difference

When you’re navigating recovery from religious trauma or high-control systems, finding a practitioner who truly understands your experience can be transformative. While many practitioners are trained in trauma, there’s something uniquely powerful about working with someone who has lived through similar challenges and come out on the other side. A practitioner with lived experience in religious trauma or high-control environments can offer a level of empathy, understanding, and relatability that is difficult to replicate through training alone.

I often speak from the perspective of a counsellor and coach working with clients recovering from religious trauma, but I’d like to share some of my personal experience as a client who was supported by a therapist with lived experience of religious trauma.

Understanding the Subtle and Specific Triggers

Religious trauma and high-control systems leave behind deep emotional scars, many of which can be triggered by things that may seem insignificant to others. A simple phrase, a specific behaviour, or even a familiar song can bring up waves of anxiety, shame, or confusion. A practitioner who has experienced religious trauma firsthand will likely recognise these subtle triggers without needing long explanations.

When I heard words like “obedience” or “sin,” I felt a wave of discomfort wash over me. Those terms were so deeply ingrained in my past that they carried a weight I couldn’t always explain to people who hadn’t been through it. But when I talked to my therapist, who had lived through similar experiences, they got it right away. They didn’t brush off my reaction or tell me I was overthinking it. Instead, we worked together to unpack why those words held so much power over me. I’ve noticed that with others who didn’t share this history, may not have caught how triggering certain language or concepts could be, or I needed to explain a lot more before they truly understood its impact.

Freedom to Express Without Filtering

One of the most liberating aspects of working with a practitioner who has lived through similar experiences is the ease of communication. When someone doesn’t have to filter or carefully explain their feelings, they can dive into their healing with less hesitation.

When I felt anger or bitterness toward religion, spirituality, or even the idea of God, I didn’t have to hold back with my therapist. I didn’t need to worry about offending them or softening my words to make them easier to hear. I could let out my raw emotions without fear of being judged or misunderstood. That openness was crucial for me, especially after spending so many years suppressing my feelings to fit into a faith system that didn’t allow space for them.

Relatability and Shared Understanding

When a practitioner has lived experience, they’ve likely had similar struggles in their own healing journey. This shared understanding helps people to feel less alone and more validated in their pain. It’s not just about having someone who understands trauma; it’s about having someone who has lived with the specific type of spiritual and/or psychological manipulation people have endured.

When I opened up to my therapist about the guilt and fear that came with questioning my deeply held beliefs, they understood exactly what I was going through. They shared practical coping strategies that had helped them during their own journey, like how to reframe unhealthy religious teachings, how to identify which beliefs were based on fear, and how to set boundaries with those who were still part of the system I needed distance from. Their advice wasn’t just from textbooks, it came from their own lived experience, which made it feel more grounded and accessible to me.

Hope and Inspiration Through Their Journey

Recovery from religious trauma can feel isolating, and sometimes it’s hard to see a way forward. A practitioner who has already walked this path can serve as living proof that healing is possible. Their own story of reclaiming autonomy, rediscovering personal values, and building a life outside of the high-control system can offer hope and inspiration.

When I was struggling with leaving a high-control group and feeling completely lost, my therapist, who had also left a similar environment, helped guide me through the process. They shared how they had rebuilt their own sense of identity after leaving, and how they found new, supportive, and inclusive communities. There was a deep sense of hope that I could navigate the loneliness, implement healthy boundaries, and find friendships that would be genuine and authentic.  

The Value of Shared Experience

Choosing a practitioner is an important decision, especially when dealing with the complexities of religious trauma or high-control systems. Practitioners with lived experience bring an invaluable level of understanding, empathy, and practical wisdom to the table. Their ability to recognise unique triggers, offer unfiltered communication, and provide hope through their own journey can make the healing process more accessible and less isolating.

However, if lived experience isn’t available, finding a practitioner with the right training and a willingness to understand your unique needs can still offer profound support. The key is to find someone who makes people feel seen, heard, and validated as they navigate the difficult but rewarding journey toward healing.